Not Okay & That’s Just Fine

Me: “Charlie, make sure you bring your backpack in the house.”

Charlie: (whiny voice) “But I don’t want to!”

Me: (over exaggerating) “You have an infectious disease and we need to clean it.”

Charlie: “Ugh…fine.”

 

Today is a day that I’m not okay. I’ve been working my ass off (literally) and holding all my shit together. But I’m sorry, not today. I need a day to not be okay. I need a day to cry and not to worry about being the strong one. If I don’t then I’m gonna break; Break into a tiny million pieces. And it’s okay that I’m not okay.

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So let me start over.

Yesterday morning I witnessed a car accident right in front of me. A truck hit a car that was turning in next to me at my daughter’s school. It was pretty bad. All I heard was a horn honk and then “CRASH!” The car did a complete 360 right in front of me. All I could do was sit there, hands over my mouth in complete shock, frozen. It was a mom. She’s pregnant, has a 1 year old, and was dropping her kindergartner off at school. I can’t imagine how she felt. I was so close that I could see the complete shock on her face when her car stopped. Everyone is physically fine, but I pray that everyone is emotionally okay.

My day goes on and everything seems fine. Pick up Charlie from school and check out the cause of poison ivy I think he has to see if it got better or worse. It has spread, more bumps have formed and the ones he had got bigger. So I call the doc just to see what’s going on. Well I was wrong. Charlie has what’s called Impetigo. Not exactly an infectious disease, but it is a staff infection and it’s highly contagious. It’s not serious or deadly or anything like that, but my beautiful little boy is covered in a nasty blistering rash all over one leg. He can’t wear shorts for 2 days (his favorite) and  has to be super careful with the other kids (bleached and lysoled my whole house). They put him on an oral antibiotic, antibiotic cream and a steroid cream. When he woke up this morning, it looked even worse. I know the medicine is going to work, and that he won’t be contagious after 24 hrs, but I just wanted to cry when I looked at him.

 

My life could be worse, yes. But it is also okay to take a day to not be okay.

One thought on “Not Okay & That’s Just Fine”

  1. You’re right. Sometimes you have just got to take the day off and acknowledge that thinks suck. They won’t stay that way and neither will you, but in the moment you gotta do what you gotta do. I spent a lot of years trying to only be strong and eventually my body would force me to rest and realize I was not ok. So it’s more than ok to not be ok. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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